Lessons Amidst the Ashes of Defeat

It’s October, 2012 and I have just opened a letter from the lake association looking for contributions towards a fund to dump toxic chemicals into Golden Lake.  They are concerned about excessive weed growth over the last couple of years and have decided that something needs to be done about it.  My stomach drops as I realize that they have already collected a considerable amount of money and that this mindless act of destruction is going to happen unless someone speaks up.

 

This beautiful spot of heaven that has been the home of my heart for over 60 years is in danger.  I know that these chemicals kill weeds very effectively, but what about the countless creatures that inhabit the delicate ecosystem of this special place?  What will happen to the thousands of fish, birds, muskrats, frogs, turtles and dragonflies and water bugs to name a few?  There has to be a better solution!

I realize that although I have always been quiet and introspective and have no skills to take on this task......no one else will.  With the help of my son, Chris we devise a plan and found The Golden Lake Preservation Society.  Together we begin a journey that will become one of the most difficult things we have ever done.  Over the next 9 months, we perform thousands of hours of research, website construction for our preservation society, letter and email writing and phone calls.

We attend every meeting armed with facts gathered from scientists, professors, pier reviewed medical research documents and information shared by other lake communities that have used safe and natural methods of weed control successfully.  We leave no stone unturned and we make it of utmost importance to act with calm intelligence.  We have no idea what an emotional rollercoaster ride we are in for.

We become a thorn in the side of the lake association and due to the fact that we have stirred up the community, these once unattended meetings are now crowded with concerned and angry people voicing their opposing viewpoints.  Eventually we win over 40 percent of the lake residents and collect a substantial amount of money to fund our natural approach.  

In the midst of this struggle when we think we have reached our lowest point, a letter arrives in the mail addressed to The Golden Lake Preservation Society.  Inside the envelope is one of our unopened mailings and scribbled on it are the words, “Refused! Never write to me again!! Drop Dead!”  It is written by an elderly man who has lived on the lake all of his life and is in favor of the chemical quick fix.  I am shocked and saddened but nothing really surprises me at this point.  I chalk it up to the fact that I have heard he is a crabby old man and file it away. 

Spring arrives and it becomes sadly apparent that we have lost the battle since the majority rules.  Despite all of our efforts, the Department of Natural Resources has issued a permit for application of the chemical 2,4D to the lake association. Discouraged and exhausted we know that it will happen soon.  I see the big boat at the launch with the lettering from the chemical company on the side of it and feel sick at heart. 

There is a big boom that extends to either side of the boat with many nozzles underwater pumping this poison into the lake as it goes back and forth.  I cannot watch this terrible thing that we have fought so long and hard to stop.  I feel like I cannot breathe and leave for the day.  When I come back 7 hours later, the death boat is still on the lake and now in front of my cottage.  I cannot even begin to imagine how much poison has been dumped since I left.  It turns out to be over 2,000 pounds of 2,4D by the time it is finished. 

Within a week, the weeds begin to die.  So do the fish, frogs and God only knows what else!  Most of the people around the lake are swimming even the next day as if there is no chemical soup off the end of their pier.  I cannot wrap my mind around it.  We do not enter the lake nor do we allow our grandchildren or our pets to for a very long time.

My son and I perform water tests of the lake and send them to a certified lab at intervals all summer long.  We share our results with the lake associations and the residents. The results show that it takes the extremely high concentration of chemicals over 6 weeks to break down in the water.  Of the thousands of frogs that have sung in the marsh every summer night forever……there are perhaps a dozen left.  Most people do not seem to notice or care and are thrilled that the weeds are gone.  Except for several women on the lake who cannot take a chance and swim, because their doctors have told them that they are at risk for estrogen induced cancers.  An estrogen that is present in the chemicals that were used.  I wonder what this world is coming to and what I am supposed to learn from this.  I don’t understand why this community seems not to care about each other and all of the creatures that inhabit this special place.

It takes me months to be able to look at the lake and my neighbors and feel any sense of peace.  I try to find the lesson in this experience but my heart feels poisoned by this assault.  I don’t like the anger I feel at those that allowed it to happen.  It seems to have me by the throat.

At some point, I come to understand that the only healing I have control over is my own.  I must find a way to look out at the lake and know that all will be well.  I have a choice to make.  I can continue to focus on the harm or look for rebirth.  I spend the summer working on feeling peace towards my neighbors and the damaged environment.

Two weeks ago the man who sent the angry letter, suddenly passed away.  By this time I know more about him.  I know that he was loved by his 4 grown daughters that he raised alone.  I know that he was considered a kind and helpful neighbor.  I know that he loved this lake all of his life.  I know that his second wife is gravely ill and that to his family, he was everything.  I have accepted that I will never be able to understand anyone else’s perspective on life.

His family knows nothing about the angry letter he sent me, and I will never speak of it. They have asked to use our boat to spread his ashes out on the lake next weekend since ours is the only boat still left in the lake this late. The irony of this is not lost on me.  I am truly sorry for the loss of their loved one, and I wish them peace and healing as they say goodbye to him.

I know there are more lessons for me to learn in this defeat.  Maybe it is to be willing to let go of the results when I have done everything I could and to send a blessing to my neighbors, even though they are unable see the world as I do.  Perhaps it is my chance to try to envision the world as healed no matter how broken it may seem.  I cannot claim to believe that we are all connected to one another, this lake, this world, this universe and all of its creatures and exclude those who think differently than I do.  It is a hard lesson to learn. 

Perhaps the only blessing is the few dear friends we made who stepped up to help and support us in this battle when we were running out of strength.  They are truly a gift!

Next week there will be the meeting to discuss chemicals for next summer.  I don’t think I have the heart for it.